Monthly Archives: January 2022

Espresso with Chalice

My Day Off: a poem about depression and adhd

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I have prepared my papers 
I have done my research
It is time to sit and do
The thing I’ve always wanted to do. 

But a cup of coffee would be nice to go with it
Steamy, rich…
And I do have that new coffee maker
And even some sweet cream. 

Wait how many beans do I grind?
I will have to look it up again
Where was it 
I can’t remember… 

You know what I should do
Create a notebook with this info
Just a place to jot down important stuff
OOH I’ll just use my organizer

Oh shoot, I am behind with my organizer
What did I do the other day
To record it for my timesheet
I need to be better with this thing

Oh Yeah, that happened
I can’t believe that happened
I can’t believe they did that
Or I said that… 

Ugh… 
What was I doing again. 
All I can think of is that thing they said
Or that I did… 

If I could just focus
I wouldn’t get so behind
But today is my day off
I was going to do something special

But I can’t believe they said that
Or that I did that
I need to think of something else
Or I’ll go insane

It’l be like the last time
and It will just get worse
Ok, time to think of something else
Why am I so stupid?

STOP
BEING
STUPID
DAMMIT

Hope Comes in the Morning: A poem about waking up

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Not mud, nor a shell, just cold
Leaving the loving embrace 
So soft, so warm, not cold
hugged by a fluffy weight

But waken we must
And forward we go
The dark night is my friend
But so is the light of day

Because hope comes in the morning
Even when it’s ignored. 

I get what you say
Just let me sleep longer
You can’t
There are musts to do

And those musts will have their do
And you won’t even hate it
Your just comfy right now
hugged by a fluffy weight. 

Because hope comes in the morning
Even when it’s ignored. 

You will sing songs
About sorrows and joys
You will feed puppies
Who love you without question

The musts aren’t that bad
if I can just move a bit
To embrace the cold morning
Though hugged by a fluffy weight

Because hope comes in the morning 
Even when it’s ignored.

Chrysalis

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I have been reflecting on my ADHD and Depression through poetry, I hope you enjoy this poem about getting out of bed in the morning. 

The worm begets her work today
In the Chrysalis she makes
And all the energy involved
As through the shell she breaks. 

I wonder of the texture touch
The one her hands have found
When the future needs thee push
I wish to not be ‘round. 

The sun breaks through the window pain
In the cold cold winter air. 
The warmth beneath the blankets call
And scream not tarry there

The shell around my body firm
The need outside it roars
And though I’d rather not go out
Nay breaking winter storm

The winter of my life it comes
Even when the spring begets
And lost are days and sometimes found
For death above regret.

A Poem About the Hard Days

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Some days are filled with riot
Some days are full of rancor
Some days full of hard hard work
And some of battles wild

Other days just like nights
And sleepy sleepy echoes
When all the day long nothing comes
And …Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, ugh… 

And God’s own Son they called him Christ
A busy busy bee
Would turn the temple tables 
And thousands he would feed

But the night with ebon pinyon 
He brooded or the vale
He sought the lone embrace
An absent father fails. 

But even other lighter days
He’d sit and walk with friends
Or alone for thirty years
Just trying to blend in. 

I wonder if Christ’s depression
Was anything like mine
I wonder if he tossed and turned
And finally his night resigned? 

Or if there were days no living face
Could rouse him from his bed
Even in the early 
Before the thorns up on his head

Oh hell, I don’t know 
It’s just a thought of mine
Oh, holy Christ I just don’t know
Where all my hope has gone

And the blankest days
And the empty nights 
And the times of muddled mind
[I had a thought now gone]